Now, before you freak out. I probably need to explain this one. Yes, I believe the internet is a viable way to meet people. You open up your pool of potential partners that you would not have met otherwise. The Good, Bad and the Ugly.
Although, you must remain vigilant that you’re not being catfished or that the person you’re talking to is a serial killer or a scammer trying to get your retirement funds. But I cannot judge people whom meet online or dating apps. I was in a long-term relationship with someone I meet on Bebo (Waaaaaaay before Facebook or MySpace) and have used the dating app Bumble as a way of meeting new people in a new town. Some of my friends are engaged and even married with people they’ve meet on Tinder or social media. MARRIED! Tinder which is 4 years old is now old enough to foster long term relationships.
Disclaimer: DON’T USE DATING APPS IF YOUR UNDER 18- AND DON’T LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE (because that will catch up to you and may put someone else in a illegal position that they did not know about) CHILDREN LOOK AWAY
1) Profile Picture
Please, please have a decent profile picture. None of this “phone in face” or “hand in face” business. Your profile picture should be clean and clear. Better yet, smiling and happy. No one wants to swipe right on a poorly lit, “can’t see your face” dodgy looking photo. Women are always on hazard mode. Men, don’t try and be mysterious because to us that looks dodgy. We will not meet with anyone that looks like they may kill us or that we have no idea of that they look like. Women, boob and ass shots will only attract men that only want sex. Be classy and make them work to even get a glimpse of the goods. Don’t be giving it for free.
2) Pictures with girls/guys
DO NOT PUT A PICTURE OF YOU WITH ANOTHER MALE/FEMALE. This one is a no brainier. Is she your sister? or your girlfriend? Is he your brother, cousin or baby daddy? Come on! You need to look available and eligible. It basic human instinct to be territorial when it comes to potential mates. Even if its your sister/brother in the photo (a bit weird to put a picture of them on a dating app by the way) Photos with the same sex is okay but don’t put more than one because then we have to play the game of “which one is he/she?” – basically, eliminate competition from the beginning and look single.
This is important for initial contact. Give some information that another person can initiate conversation with. This can be as simple as adding hobbies “I fish, hunt and do manly things on the weekends”. A women who is into those things can approach you with questions about where you fish/hunt or if you’re good with your hands. Also, outline your intentions. If you’re not looking for anything serious or are. That way you will attract people in the same boat and avoid people that are not. Don’t waste peoples time. Do not try and be mysterious with limited information. We’ve stopped at your photo and have started reading your bio to get nothing from it. Even if you’re good looking and you have nothing in your bio people will think you’re a catfish.
4) First Contact
Now this is so important. For men AND women. Do not send the following phrases for your first contact “Hi” “Hello” “Upto” “Sup” “What you doing?” “Hi sexy” “Hello baby” “daym you fine” “pls add me” “I love you” “I like you” “Snapchat?” and don’t send an emoji or GIF. These phrases get you no where! If I see a message slide into my DM’s with just one of these phrases I completely ignore it because its a waste of time. How do we respond to such lazy conversationalist? If you really want someone to respond, ask a question. You can use their bio or any information you may have seen in their pictures to strike up a conversation. If they’re new to town, ask about their background. If they like long walks on the beach, ask what their favourite beaches are. If they like cheese, ask what cheeses they like? Its easy. Even if their bio is humorous you can still generate funny questions to strike up a conversation.
5) DON’T GET CATFISHED
Okay this ones tricky. You really need to be smart with your detective skills. First, check out the photos. Are they all professional modelling shots? If they are, has the person left behind an instagram tag? If so, check it out. If not, start up a conversation and maintain it for a week before asking to meet in person (public places). If the person keeps coming up with excuses they’re either not interested or not who they say they are. If the person is far away, organize a video chat (phone calls can’t verify who they are) to make sure. This step needs action to figure it out but what ever you do -figure it out within the first two weeks of making contact. The longer you leave it, the more emotionally attached you may get and the more in denial that this person may not be real.